Les mathématiques de la vie

Mathematics has always inspired me. For clarification, I am not exactly a huge fan of mathematics as a subject but it has always given me food for thought. You see, I find ironies of life in mathematical topics. For e.g.- Calculus. Now, for me Integration was always tougher than Differentiation. Isn't that true for all of us in real life? Isn't it easier for us to throw someone out of our lives than to forgive them and kept them woven in the web of our lives? Integration on the other hand, requires a deeper 'understanding' as it is considered to be 'tougher'.

When we look further we find other such topics like- Degrees of freedom. It was a mathematical concept in my first year of college. Now, it got me thinking. Are we really free? If yes, then what defines the extent of freedom? Or is it absolute? What factors affect our 'degrees' of freedom? Last and the important being- Algebra. The Variables, the Constants. Some things are 'axioms' in real life and some, we 'derive', based on the given facts.

So, exactly how far can life be equated to mathematical concepts? How many times do we add and subtract people from our lives? I'm leaving you all with a mathematical home-work (yeah yeah, I know! dont give me those looks now!). Think about mathematical concepts as the weird lessons of life because of the obvious similarity- we neither understand maths, nor are we able to comprehend Life. :-)

The Color of Love.

A peculiar thought ‘fought’ its way into my mind. It had to ‘fight’ because there are so many of them crowding my head. So now that it’s here, I wonder, if life could be expressed in colours, what exactly would be the colour of Love?

For me, it started with PINK. The softness, warmth and the Dream. A colour which only attracted, never repelled. It represented that nothing bad lurks behind, only the sweet truth- a bright PINK for happiness and a dull PINK for coziness. For Him too, it started with PINK. This colour, for him, was a new world altogether. It spelt tenderness and care, far away from his BLUE and BROWN life. A completely vulnerable and nascent side of him was revealed to me. There was PINK everywhere. PINK thoughts, PINK talks. Given the kind of person I am, excess of PINK repels me but this PINK induced a lovely subtle aroma every time I saw him.

Days and months went by and the colour started to deepen. It changed to RED. Things were not dreamy anymore. The sweet hesitation of PINK was gone. RED had taken its place. The crests and troughs of emotions started defining the bond. The gamut of feelings was no longer just part of our lives; it was all we cared about. People say that Love is everywhere- family, friends, everyone! Then, I ask, what makes this particular person’s Love so special? It might be the exclusive nature of his/her affection for you and according to me, RED aptly denoted this possessiveness, or rather, exclusivity. RED is a strong colour. Any other colour does not capture one’s mind so much. I used to believe our little relationship had now been nurtured into something strong and dependable. For me, the RED phase was still RED, but for him, RED had changed to BROWN. 

BROWN, in which he tried hard to locate RED but all he ever saw was a hint of RED hidden somewhere. His BROWN became so dark that one couldn’t say if it ever WAS RED. As for me, it was still RED. Now, my RED started having doubts about his colour when his coldness and indifference revealed their cruel form. I never realised the transition of his phases, I was THAT drenched in RED.

Later, when my RED started fading because of his BROWN’s influence and began to take the colour of RUSTY RED. I asked him, “Do you Love me?”. He wasn’t expecting this, but probably secretly wishing this question to come up. He remained silent. After several long…..long moments, he finally uttered, “I Don’t Know”. What I heard (interpreted) was “NO”, as for me either it was a RED or a BLACK. There was no place whatsoever for BROWN.

I thanked him for giving me some unforgettable memories. In that one moment, all PINK, RED, BROWN turned PITCH BLACK. Not dark brown, not dark grey, only BLACK. This ‘colourful’ story didn’t end here. My life continued to be BLACK for months. Long days and even lengthier nights. A new dawn never brought hope for me. I was directionless, purposeless, disillusioned, in short- BLACK. I longed to dispel this darkness which existed within me. BLACK is nothingness- when you absorb everything but reflect nothing back. I used to see, hear, smell, feel, taste but stopped reacting to any of it.

(After 11.5 months)

I endorse the saying that ‘Time heals all’. My colour, very slowly, turned to GREY and eventually to WHITE. I am now at peace with myself. There is light everywhere now. I have so many directions to take, so many decisions to make.

The good thing now is that now I am ready to take on another colour. This WHITE canvas is again ready to be painted PINK! ;-)

Don't Misunderstand the Misunderstandings

Somethings are better judged by actions. Miscommunication sometimes leads to obnoxious interpretations and even more weird directions. The other day I met a friend's boyfriend. Now, this Mr Kid had just started a website which was about the un-common and un-noticed achievers. About the common people with not-so-common stories. The subject was light and caught my interest. I took down the web address and as soon as I got home, I sat down to surf the net. As I clicked 'GO' on my browser, the website appeared. NO! It wasn't what I'd thought! It was a PEST-Control help site! I tried it again. Same result.

I scrolled down hoping to find something else. I found names of the following 'helpful' sites- guardianpestcontrol.com, insectimages.org, epestssupply.com, doyourownpestcontrol.com. I mean who names sites like these? insect images.com? Why would someone already flooded with pests in their house ever want to see that site? E-pestssupply.com? Do we need more of those bugs in our homes? What do these guys think we do with them? Feed them? Provide them with amusement? Why would we want a supply of those pests? And do-your-own-pest-control.com? Seriously? Can the pest-control guys BE more annoying? Or probably all these pest control people are sadists who take pleasure when the creepy-crawlies scare the hell out of folks like us. These are real websites, mind you, I haven't made these up. So, while I shuddered at the thought of a cockroach crawling up my leg, the ringtone of my phone startled me! It was that friend! I spared no abuse! Then she asked me, "Which site did you visit?". I sent her the link and waited for her apology. She called me back, laughing! "Charu, you never did put the hyphen between the two words!" I hung up that very second. Could that be possible? Did I......YES! I had! :'(

Some misunderstandings, thankfully, aren't as dreadful. Last night I was returning from an incomplete (due to cold) long walk.

The number of calories I had burnt were demanding revenge, each one wanting to replace itself with a hundred more! What could I do? So my wandering eyes (for food, in this particular case ;-) ) halted at a dimly lit chowmein-thela. There it was, in shivering cold, a quantum of solace. I hurried on to the thela and politely between bouts of uncontrollable shiver, I told him, "Bhaiya, dus rupaye ki chowmein de dijiye please". The man looked up at me, his eyes locked with mine for 2 seconds and then he went back to making his speciality. The first round of steaming hot noodles was ready. He served a few other of his hungry customers waiting there. There was a strange-looking policeman standing there who was staring at my i-Pod continuously. I did not appreciate his stare, not one bit!

I was hoping to snatch the next plate of chowmein for myself when I saw that it was finished. What was that now! It really put me off. The guy didn't even look at me and mumbled loud enough for me to hear, "Bana rahe hain madam apke liye." I cursed him under my breath and waited. He had served every single of his customers, only I was left. Nonetheless, I was a Fighter and my Fat Layer, a Survivor! I felt odd standing there alone and I complained, "Bhaiya aap chhod do, mujhe der ho rahi hai, main jaa rahi hun." He, for the second time now looked at me, "Madam ban gaya hai ab, kha lijiye." I could smell the food, nice! I thought now he'd serve; but he left his thela calling after some Chhotu! That pissed me off, badly! I was standing there and he left the thela? I was so annoyed that I actually waited for him to come back and he see what had he left me for. He returned with a small kid and gave hum a spoon of chowmein. I couldn't believe this sight! What had I run into?!?! This guy was unbelievably annoying. I started to walk away. 

He called after me and that's when I understood everything. He asked the kid to taste the salt before serving it to me. A guy who makes it professionally daily needed to check the amount of salt? He probably sensed what I was thinking and said, "Madam yahan jo log khane ate hain wo bohot zyada mirch masala aur namak lete hain, aap toh kam mirchi namak khati hongi, isiliye chhotu ko khila kar dekh raha tha." That touched me. I thanked him, not because I eat less spices but because he took the extra pain of making another round again, just for me and the gesture of calling Chhotu for tasting really made me feel that some times the random-est of strangers evoke the strangest of emotions in you.

That was one misunderstanding I'll never forget.

A New World.

So I am a Blogger now! I constantly wonder if it should be allowed for us to mention it in our C.V.s that we are BLOGGERS! :-D After all, how many of us would have all the time in the world to waste it on writing a stupid blog? Neither a political one nor a professional one, I write for my own self. (White lie! The truth is that I wanted to prove to my friends that I don't eat chips all day long sitting at home!) So, now that I have volunteered to shoulder this great responsibility, let me introduce myself to you all.

I am Charu, a 20 year old, as confused as anybody else, but perceived to be otherwise! To me, it's an honour to be read world-wide (YES! My blog is being read by mom right now in London! :-P) Let me make one thing very clear, if there's anybody who's here to look for good and refined pieces of literature, I politely request them to visit this site- www.dictionary-nazar-aa-rahi-hun-kya.com; it might be of some help. :-) So, what exactly AM I doing here then? I am here to introduce to you all some of the characters who will feature on my blog in the future! (sounds cool, eh? :-P)

There's my friend The Glow Cheek (yeah yeah, don't laugh at HIS name, he doesn't like it), The Girly Momma (my pesky roommate who is my alter ego), The Pinky Twinky (my oldest female friend who made me force the word 'pink' in the name of my blog! outrageous, right?!?!) and her boyfriend-and-my-darling-friend Sallu Bhai (imaginary gay partner of salman khan. yes! he loves him THAT much!). There are loads more who'll be introduced as and when they feature.

This blog is a free space. We shall also have a Monthly Guest Posts by some of you ;-) . We shall Crib, Laugh, Cry, Gossip, Discuss Food, Rant about relationships......just about everything here! But without your support, this blog and I will be just another entry on the Google search engine. :-(

Please Follow my blog "Pink and Black" on Facebook (I don't have a twitter account! :-P)

Next time, I shall reveal the mystery behind the title of this blog.

Love you All.